Glentoran to switch from Homewheat to plain Digestives in efficiency savings

Glentoran Football Club today announced that effective Monday they would be switching from McVities Homewheat biscuits to the marginally cheaper McVities Digestive for post match tea and biccies at the Oval.

Too much of a luxury in recession era N.I.

"The decision may not be a popular one, but fuck you." A representative for the club said at a press conference today, "We split all costs down the middle during matches so we're saving money for your pissy wee team as well. You don't like it then how about we go play at your ground then? Oh yeah, because you have all the seating capacity of a Mini Cooper."

Officials refused to meet with WNN after the conference citing "you bastards will probably misrepresent us as being cheap so piss off."

Money, what Glentoran apparently doesn't have.

 

Dungannon Swifts still rubbish

In sports this weekend it has been revealed that whilst a record £200million has been spent on transfers among the Premier League teams officials have announced that Dungannon Swifts are still rubbish.

Whilst £50million pounds was paid by Chelsea to Liverpool for Fernando Torres the Dungannon team was still just sitting around being crap.

A spokesperson for the team said, "Dungannon Swifts have a long tradition of being at best mediocre and we are proud to continue this, we can safely say that we are one of the most consistent teams in the IFA."

Here's a picture of some cute duckies.